


I Love You

by anonnynonny (aerisflowers)



Series: I love you [1]
Category: Lovely Little Losers
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 16:37:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5547569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aerisflowers/pseuds/anonnynonny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The evening after Peter and Balth's first kiss.  A missing moment, right after the balcony scene.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> I've never actually written a fanfic before, nor written anything in a long long while so I apologize. Going to miss these characters so much and just felt that I needed to spend a little longer with them.

“I love you.”

Peter’s heart was pounding.  This was it, the moment that they had been building to all year.  Well, more than a year if you really thought about it.  Deep down, Peter knew that Balth felt the same way, but after all the shit they’d been through this year with the rules and after everything Peter had done in the first six months in Wellington, he wasn’t sure if it was enough.  Peter’s eyes searched Balthazar’s face for any signs of acceptance and reciprocation, at last finding a home in those blue eyes shining back at him.

“I kind of…love you too.”

“Kind of?”

“Kind of a lot, yeah”

Balthazar was moving closer and Peter felt himself take a step forward.  All their surroundings, Peter’s awareness of the camera, their friends standing only a short distance away, everything faded away and there was only the soft touch of Balthazar’s lips on his before they melted together into a hug. 

For weeks, months really, ever since singing “Stay”, Peter had been imagining this moment, what it would feel like to embrace Balthazar with all those unspoken words and confessions out in the open. They had hugged before, but he could not have anticipated the reality of having Balthazar’s slender body pressed up against him, feeling the rise and fall of his chest and the thumping of his heart matching pace with his own.

He felt, more than heard Balth let out a half-chuckle half-exhale over his shoulder and then he was running his hands down Peter’s arms and interlacing their fingers.  They leaned away to look once more at each other.  Peter saw a big grin across Balth’s face that was probably a mirror of his own.  There were so many more words that needed to be spoken, but in this moment, he finally felt the clarity of perfect understanding.  Peter leaned in close for another kiss, this one deeper than the last, an affirmation of their feelings, their arms wrapping around each other once more.  Balth’s lips were pliant and yielding, letting Peter take the lead, opening his mouth, their breath mingling as they inhaled simultaneously.  Peter thought about all the times that Balth had walked away from him this year and felt his hands tighten in the fabric of Balth’s shirt.  This time he wasn’t going to let go.

Unfortunately, the reality of their situation began to sink in, and Peter could hear Bea and Ben having a heated conversation. He broke off the kiss, but laced his fingers with Balth’s once more. 

He heard Bea saying, “…it sounds like I’m ending it,” and saw Ben walking back inside.

Peter looked at Balth.  “I should probably go find him…” he said, gesturing to the open door where Vegan Fred was now standing, his hands full of mugs and a confused look on his face.

“And I should probably…you know” and Balth motioned towards Bea, who was now leaning over the railing.

“I’ll call you later tonight, yeah?”

Balth nodded and squeezed Peter’s hand in acknowledgement, and started towards Bea, dragging his fingertips across Peter’s palm until the connection was broken.

Peter, joined by Freddie, walked back into the house after Ben.  They found him opening the front door, a hard expression on his face. 

They followed him out to the car and most of the ride back to their flat was blanketed in silence.  Peter could see Fred sitting in the back seat with a small smile on her face.  Clearly she was thinking about Kit.  Meanwhile, Peter was replaying the entire balcony scene over and over in his head.

“You guys, I’m fine, really.”

Fred leaned forward and put a hand on Ben’s shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll work through it.”

“D’you think Balth will move back?” asked Ben, changing the subject.

“I don’t know.  I hope so,” said Peter, as a million thoughts rushed through his mind.

They reached the flat and walked up the stairs in silence.  Once through the front door, the three of them looked at each other, all with matching “now what” faces.

“Why don’t we put on a movie?” Peter suggested.

Fred looked around in relief and immediately jumped into organization mode.  “That sounds great.  I’ll get my laptop, you make some popcorn Peter, and Ben, you fetch some blankets.”

In the kitchen, Peter felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, the intermittent sound of popcorn kernels bursting masking the sound of his text alert.

_Balth: You guys doing ok?_

_Peter: Heh, just couldn’t wait for me to call you eh?_

_Balth: :P.  So…?_

_Peter: Yeah, Ben’s not so good, but we’re just about to chuck on a movie.  Skype later?_

_Balth: Chuck on a movie?  Sounds a bit violent…maybe lob on a movie?_ _:)_

_Peter: Haha, v. funny. Bea ok?_

_Balth: Hard to say really. Enjoy the movie, talk to you later._

Peter hesitated a moment before replying.  He wondered if it was maybe too soon to send a sign off.  But honestly, if you thought about it, they had already been through the slow burn, so fuck it.

_Peter: I love you._

Balth’s response was almost instantaneous.

_Balth: I love you too._

Peter smiled to himself and placed his phone back in his pocket.  He pulled the popcorn out of the microwave and emptied it into a bowl.  Walking back into the living room, he saw Freddie and Ben settled on the couch, movie in hand.  He paused in the doorway of the kitchen.  He felt a twinge of guilt as he looked at Ben, feeling that it was so unfair that he should finally be so happy and his friend so unhappy.  Nothing but empty words came to mind and he wished that he was better at being the supportive friend.  He sincerely hoped that Ben and Bea would be able to work through their problems.  In a surprising moment of clarity, perhaps due to his current intense personal happiness, he thought that Ben and Bea really needed to talk things out in person, and probably away from a camera.  Perhaps if he could get them in the same room…

Peter shook his head.  If they had learned anything from last year, it was that sometimes there were limits to how much meddling their group of friends should do in one another’s love lives.

Freddie looked up at him from the couch and motioned for him to come and join them.  He joined them and Freddie leaned forward to start the movie.

* ~ * ~ *

Later that night, Peter sat in his bed with his laptop on his lap.  Balth’s face was looking out at him with that crooked smile that made Peter’s stomach do a backflip.  Balth let out a half laugh and ducked his head down, bringing his hand up to cover his face.

“Hey,” he said.

Peter wished he could reach through the screen and take Balth’s hand in his own.

“Hey.  That was some kiss, when can I see you for more?” Peter said with a smile on his face.

Any lingering awkwardness over the change in their status disappeared.  Balth laughed.

“Do you think Freds would make waffles if I came back to the flat tomorrow morning?” Balth asked, a twinkle in his eye.

“I suppose I could make that happen, if that’s the only thing that would tempt you to come back to us.” Peter said, laughing.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then. Mmm, waffles!” Balth said with a smile, closing his eyes and licking his lips.  Suddenly, all Peter could think about was the feel of those lips on his, imagining how it would feel to again be only inches from that face... Balth’s voice interrupted his thoughts, “Seriously though, how’s Ben?”

Peter paused for a minute before responding, “Uncharacteristically quiet, but he actually seems to be doing okay.  Sometimes I’d catch him looking at me and grinning.  I think he’s compartmentalizing really well.  And Bea?”

“I’m not sure really.  She went straight into her room and didn’t talk to any of us for the rest of the evening.  I think I heard her talking on the phone, maybe with Hero or her mum right before I went to bed.”

“I really hope they can work things out.  They’re still, like, perfect for each other.”

They talked for a while longer about their friends and how they might be able to help, and then they were just talking about nothing and everything at the same time.  Talking in a way that they hadn’t done for so long, probably since before moving to Wellington.  Peter felt the tension that had been building up inside him since last year finally dissipate.  He looked at the clock display and realized that it was almost 2 a.m.

He was about to tell Balthazar that they should probably say goodnight and go to sleep when he heard a knock on the door coming through his laptop speakers.  Balthazar looked up and Peter heard a door opening and a faint voice saying “I saw the light under your door and thought maybe you were still up.  Do you mind if we talk?  I’ve brought hot chocolate…”

It was Vegan Fred’s voice.  Balth’s eyes flicked back to the camera in his laptop.

“Uhh, I’m Skyping with Pete at the moment and anyway it’s kind of late, can’t it wait till the morning?”

Peter felt an irrational jolt of jealousy run through him.

“Oh, alright, well you know where I’ll be.” Vegan Fred’s voice was coloured with disappointment and Peter heard a long pause before the door finally clicked closed.

Balth’s attention returned once more to the screen and he had an unreadable expression on his face.  Peter tried not to look judgmental or angry, not sure if he was succeeding.

“I know you said before that he doesn’t think of you that way, but I think maybe you were wrong.” Peter said.

Balth sighed and ran his hands through his hair, dropping his eyes. “I think maybe you’re right.  Possibly I gave him the wrong impression when we were eating those brownies on the beach.  He really is a decent guy.  I’m not sure where I would have gone when I left the flat.  I actually feel a little guilty that he got swept up into whatever was happening between us.”  He motioned at Peter through the screen and pointed to his own chest.

Peter relaxed a little when he heard Balthazar refer to “Us”, but it was hard to remember how he had felt after he had watched the footage Ben had posted of Balth’s birthday party of the two of them sitting on the couch talking as easily as if they had known each other for a long time, or of the despair he had felt watching Meg and Bea’s baking video seeing Balth looking so happy and knowing that he had been partly responsible for driving him away.

“Fuck, we really put ourselves through the wringer this year, didn’t we?”

Balth look relieved that Peter was dropping the subject.

“Anyway, it really is kinda late.  Thank god we have no more finals. Good night, see you in the morning.”

Balth yawned, then smiled.  “Yeah, I suppose you are right.  See you in the morning.  Don’t forget the waffles.”

He paused, looking as if he wanted to say something else.  Peter looked at the screen, waiting patiently looking into Balth’s blue eyes and remembering a conversation long ago when he had tried to get Balth to tell him who his crush was.  “One day, you’ll know”. Balth had said.  Well, he guessed now he finally knew.

“Your poem – thank you.  It really meant a lot to me.  What Bea and Meg said in their video was cruel and also a little wrong – I did watch it more than once.  I love you.”

Peter smiled and felt happiness spreading throughout him.  “I love you too.”

“I know it sounds, like incredibly cheesy, but I think it will take me a while before I get used to hearing you say that.”

“Well, we’re nothing if not cheesy with all our poems and songs,” replied Peter and then he let out a big yawn, which Balth immediately echoed.

“Alright then, good night.”

“Night.”

Peter closed the laptop and rolled over, closing his eyes, thinking about Balth coming home and maybe this time tomorrow he’d be wrapped around Balth’s body softly sleeping together finally in perfect harmony.


End file.
